I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.Anne Lamott
So easily we become frustrated by the actions (or inactions) of others. Whether with friends, family, lovers, co-workers or complete strangers – when someone does something we find unacceptable, we tend to ascribe undue meaning or chalk it up to a faulty personality.
The truth is, everyone is doing the best they can. Despite moments of weakness, anger or bad judgment, we're all navigating this life the best way we know how. Every single thing we do is influenced by our current physical/mental/emotional state, as well as a lifetime of experiences – and all of this is unique and intimate to us. What makes sense to you may not make as much sense to someone else, and vice versa.
That person who seems to be in a perpetually grumpy mood – perhaps they suffer from chronic pain. That co-worker who is always criticizing your work – perhaps they were raised by overly critical parents, and don't know how to be constructive in their remarks. If you look beyond their surface actions and attitudes, I don't believe you'll see a sense of malice towards humanity – instead, you might just see someone who is hurting. We would do well to stop taking everything so personally.
Can you see – in your own day-to-day life – things you do that are out of character or perhaps not in line with your core beliefs? Yet you know that deep down, you are a pretty good person who generally wants the best for yourself and others.
Will you be a healing presence in the lives of those who do things you find abrasive, rude or just plain awful? One of the greatest benefits we can give others is the benefit of the doubt. This kind of grace inspires others and softens hearts, especially when it comes unexpected. It also cultivates compassion in you.
A win-win, wouldn't you say?